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Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget
This article created by Ameno S. Creation Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget was conceived and created by Viceroy Akito in the year 8486. Utilizing the assistance of 450 pre-pubescent crimson gorillas wearing CUMTEC mind control necklaces, he was constructed in exactly 9 hours. Akito paid the gorillas handsomely in the form of Banana flavored wood Caulk at a low price of $29.99 per tube. The tubes could only be acquired after the gorillas redeemed the 1 time use rebate coupons at the local pancake house, Slappy's Pizza. The gorillas gummed up their stomachs and later died from ingesting the caulk. Akito avoided all prosecution by the law enforcement after he paid off the police with a 3-pound maple smoked ham cut into 1 1/4th inch slices and lined up symmetrically on a Dixie paper plate. By the year 8489, Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget has vanished. Body Composition Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget was combined with the likes of a thought to be dead middle aged clown officer from Bubby Land and intensive state of the art AZN ELEKTRONICZ transhuman nanomachines. Akito did not want to invest a lot of money in Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget, so it is shoddy in construction and makes a lot of ear piercing shrieking sounds when it moves its joints. It has very sharp fingers. Because of its organic clown genes, it has very stretchy skin it uses to suffocate victims. Purpose and Powers Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget was designed to be the ultimate sentient resource for working at the macaroni farms. He was also made for peeled orange juggling. One reason for his creation was to Impress Ryis, creator of Discount Dynasty. Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget has the ability to turn people it doesn't like into watermelon Jell-O by gazing into their eyes and singing the opening to Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York". Because of this, and a murder history, it is feared by the common residents of Discount Dynasty. Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget usually blasts offbeat Vaporwave music through poor quality megaphones. It also has a multitude of other fascinating abilities, including but not limited to: * Laser Beam Eyes * Go-Go-Gadget Fleshlight * Pez Dispenser * A portable collection of 21st century Yoga workout DVD's * Shoe * A plastic ear * Can recite the entire script to Season 7, Episode 6 of Seinfeld "The Soup Nazi" * Honk nose * Squirrel Dismembering * Kill person * Go-Go-Gadget Ink Pen for signing name on official documents * 3G internet through Boost Mobile * Not running on Linux Personality and Murders Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget is always angry. It can commonly be seen watching people from a quarter mile away with the intent to kill. After its creation, certain bystanders and eye witnesses said they heard Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget trying to break into their house at night, probably with the intent to collect toothbrushes. Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget has a list of murders it also committed using unorthodox methods. Due to Akito's standing in Discount Dynasty, nobody wanted to take care of the murders. Some of the murders are as follows: * Many Audience members at its unveiling performance * A lot of dogs * Everyone in line at McDonald's on June 7th, 8488 at 11:24pm * more Trivia * Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget is now missing, but some people say they can hear it in the distance on moonless nights. * Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget's Alias "Slippy Fingers" was given after it failed to impress the townsfolk upon its unveiling when it kept dropping the oranges it was juggling. ** After failing to juggle the oranges, it crucified half of the audience on the top of the local McDonald's. This act was described as "Not good" by the local police force. * Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget likes long walks in the sewers. * Vaporwave ASMR Inspector Gadget has no penis. Probably.